How Far Along? 37 Weeks - Officially in my "due time" Amazing.
Maternity Clothes? I bought some more last week. It seems silly given how close I am, but I just very much disliked my one pair of jeans. The few things I got from Old Navy will be just perfect for the remainder of the pregnancy. It took me all this time but I finally came to the conclusion I despise full panel maternity pants. I tried to like the two pair I own, but just didn't work for me.
Weight Gain? 37
Stretch Marks? No
Sleep? Same as it has been all pregnancy- wake up at 330am ish every night. Not much of a complaint though.
Best Moment of the Week? Maternity photo shoot
Movement? Had a pretty big scare Tuesday- Hadn't felt baby move much at all over the weekend. Midwife sent me immediately for biophysical u/s and NST. All is well- baby just moved into a position that it is harder for me to feel movement. Did not like the scare one bit.
Food Cravings? Dairy and smoothies and apples.
Gender? Will know in 3 weeks give or take-
What i miss? Wearing my wedding rings. Being able to put my pants on while standing up.
Symptoms: Pelvic pain. Otherwise feeling amazingly good.
Looking forward to: Maternity leave
Weekly Wisdom:
Milestones: Birth class done; Full term and fully baked- 37 weeks. Amazing.
Emotions: Sheer joy and also panic all at the same time.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
Belly Pics Updated
I finally got around to adding pics from 29 weeks and 37 weeks on my Belly Pics page - So hard to fathom I am 37 weeks pregnant tomorrow.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Where will this blog go
I've read along as other bloggers navigated the transition from TTC to IF to Pregnancy and motherhood. And inevitably there is always the reflective blog post on what direction the blog will go, whether the blogger will keep blogging and a sense of reevaluating identity in the midst of that. I feel those questions already swirling in my own mind as I wonder where I will go with this blog. I don't know the answer yet, but I can say this much.
I needed this blog. No ifs ands or buts. It was my therapy. My healing space. My grieving space. And the space in which I kept cautiously dipping my toes in the river of hope over and over again.
I needed all you bloggers. This community kept me grounded. Walked with me post by post. Wiped my tears. Reassured me that I wasn't alone. And never judged who I was or where I was at in life.
And now as our lives are about to enter a new chapter, I am not sure what I will need. I feel a bit like I am being pulled away from this blog. Which makes me how I will feel after baby comes. Maybe I will find I need this blog in new ways? Maybe I will feel that this chapter is closed? I don't know...
I can say that I plan to keep bloggin until the kiddo is born. Weekly updates have been great for my own record of this pregnancy and I still find I need this reflective space as well.
I also will write the birth story and share pics. I blog anonymously, as I am pretty intensely private, so anonymous bloggin is most comfortable for me. But I do plan to post pics and at least leave them up on my blog for a bit.
After that, I ask that you bear with me as I figure out what next. Life is about to take another turn in the road and I am not sure what it will look like or feel like....So, if I go dark for a while, i'm probably trying to figure it out and trusting I'll find some clarity as to the role of this space in the next chapter.
I needed this blog. No ifs ands or buts. It was my therapy. My healing space. My grieving space. And the space in which I kept cautiously dipping my toes in the river of hope over and over again.
I needed all you bloggers. This community kept me grounded. Walked with me post by post. Wiped my tears. Reassured me that I wasn't alone. And never judged who I was or where I was at in life.
And now as our lives are about to enter a new chapter, I am not sure what I will need. I feel a bit like I am being pulled away from this blog. Which makes me how I will feel after baby comes. Maybe I will find I need this blog in new ways? Maybe I will feel that this chapter is closed? I don't know...
I can say that I plan to keep bloggin until the kiddo is born. Weekly updates have been great for my own record of this pregnancy and I still find I need this reflective space as well.
I also will write the birth story and share pics. I blog anonymously, as I am pretty intensely private, so anonymous bloggin is most comfortable for me. But I do plan to post pics and at least leave them up on my blog for a bit.
After that, I ask that you bear with me as I figure out what next. Life is about to take another turn in the road and I am not sure what it will look like or feel like....So, if I go dark for a while, i'm probably trying to figure it out and trusting I'll find some clarity as to the role of this space in the next chapter.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Lost
In the last week I have:
lost my credit card
locked my keys in the car (but THOUGHT that I lost them)
lost my usb flashdrive
lost the cap to the maple syrup within minutes of taking it out of the fridge
All of the above were found/solved by DH. He just keeps laughing at me as I have nothing but mush for brains right now.
Sigh...
lost my credit card
locked my keys in the car (but THOUGHT that I lost them)
lost my usb flashdrive
lost the cap to the maple syrup within minutes of taking it out of the fridge
All of the above were found/solved by DH. He just keeps laughing at me as I have nothing but mush for brains right now.
Sigh...
Monday, October 3, 2011
Obsessions and Anxiety
I've been obsessed with looking for a dresser for the baby's room. Obsessed.
And it is so unlike me. We really aren't decorating a nursery. Our small condo needs to be multi functional so the "baby's room" isn't quite yet exclusively a nursery. So we are making spaces for baby, but still with an eye to multi-functional.
I decided we needed more storage for baby clothes and diapers and I wanted a surface to make into a changing table, but didn't want to buy an actual changing table. So I started shopping on craigslist - and it turns out, not only was I very picky, but I was wanting to pay almost nothing for it. AND turns out- dressers are popular on CL, so hemming and hawing was not an option as they were selling fast. I have been scouring CL for a dresser for weeks with no luck. I have probably emailed a dozen different sellers and nothing has worked out yet.
Tonight I struck gold. I found the cutest lil dresser, perfect dimensions, perfect color and style for my taste and only $30! From the time I found it on CL to having it back home and in our quasi nursery- 2 hours flat. And DH humored me and went with as my pack horse to lug the thing into the car, even though he had a lot of work to do tonight.
I am so so pleased to be able to move on to my next obsession now that I have that off my list. For the record, I have no idea what on my to-do list is going to be my next obsession, but I am sure something will rise to the surface.
************************************
As we were leaving to go pick up the dresser, we opened our front door and a large box was sitting at our front door, dropped off by the UPS truck. Our car seat. Our baby's car seat. DH got all giddy, only to turn around and find me silently crying. I a surprised by how much it took my breath away- I mean, I ordered the dang thing, I KNEW it was coming soon. But to actually see it there on our front step was surreal...., or actually it was just so REAL.
I am just so so in awe that this is really happening. I can't believe we actually are going to need a car seat. in OUR car.
********************************
anxiety
it is rearing its head again. that constant worry that something is going to go wrong. that something IS wrong. I am spending way too much time analyzing every little baby movement (or lack there of) and sapping all my emotional energy in the meantime. I just wish I could be carefree. I wish I didn't know first hand that happy endings aren't always the way things go.
Breathe....
And it is so unlike me. We really aren't decorating a nursery. Our small condo needs to be multi functional so the "baby's room" isn't quite yet exclusively a nursery. So we are making spaces for baby, but still with an eye to multi-functional.
I decided we needed more storage for baby clothes and diapers and I wanted a surface to make into a changing table, but didn't want to buy an actual changing table. So I started shopping on craigslist - and it turns out, not only was I very picky, but I was wanting to pay almost nothing for it. AND turns out- dressers are popular on CL, so hemming and hawing was not an option as they were selling fast. I have been scouring CL for a dresser for weeks with no luck. I have probably emailed a dozen different sellers and nothing has worked out yet.
Tonight I struck gold. I found the cutest lil dresser, perfect dimensions, perfect color and style for my taste and only $30! From the time I found it on CL to having it back home and in our quasi nursery- 2 hours flat. And DH humored me and went with as my pack horse to lug the thing into the car, even though he had a lot of work to do tonight.
I am so so pleased to be able to move on to my next obsession now that I have that off my list. For the record, I have no idea what on my to-do list is going to be my next obsession, but I am sure something will rise to the surface.
************************************
As we were leaving to go pick up the dresser, we opened our front door and a large box was sitting at our front door, dropped off by the UPS truck. Our car seat. Our baby's car seat. DH got all giddy, only to turn around and find me silently crying. I a surprised by how much it took my breath away- I mean, I ordered the dang thing, I KNEW it was coming soon. But to actually see it there on our front step was surreal...., or actually it was just so REAL.
I am just so so in awe that this is really happening. I can't believe we actually are going to need a car seat. in OUR car.
********************************
anxiety
it is rearing its head again. that constant worry that something is going to go wrong. that something IS wrong. I am spending way too much time analyzing every little baby movement (or lack there of) and sapping all my emotional energy in the meantime. I just wish I could be carefree. I wish I didn't know first hand that happy endings aren't always the way things go.
Breathe....
Sunday, October 2, 2011
36 Weeks (on Tuesday)
How Far Along? 35 weeks and 5 days (36 weeks on Tuesday)
Maternity Clothes? starting to feel some clothes are getting a bit small (think Dora the Explorer belly)
Weight Gain? I haven't weighed myself in several weeks. I feel like at this point knowing what the scale says at this point won't change my eating- I feeling like I am eating what I need to, so just letting my body/baby gain what it will in these final weeks.
Stretch Marks? No
Sleep? Same as it has been all pregnancy- wake up at 330am ish every night. Not much of a complaint though. I will say though that rolling over is painful in my pelvis region.
Best Moment of the Week? Doing first two loads of baby laundry and sorting baby clothes by size. Being able to feel baby parts (a butt in particular) when I poke at my belly.
Movement? Movement feels different. Not sure how to explain it.
Food Cravings? Nothing I can think of.
Gender? Will know in 4 weeks give or take-
What i miss? Wearing my wedding rings.
Symptoms: Pelvic pain, heartburn, feet feeling a bit swollen in my shoes, but don't look too swollen
Looking forward to: Final birth class, cutting back on my hours at work, getting carpets cleaned
Weekly Wisdom: Breathe.
Milestones: Tags removed from new baby clothes and washed and put away. Big milestone!
Emotions: Been more anxious lately. I worry when baby is more mellow- I don't like that at all. Also I am just in awe and a bit of a daze- not feeling like I am very present or grounded.
Maternity Clothes? starting to feel some clothes are getting a bit small (think Dora the Explorer belly)
Weight Gain? I haven't weighed myself in several weeks. I feel like at this point knowing what the scale says at this point won't change my eating- I feeling like I am eating what I need to, so just letting my body/baby gain what it will in these final weeks.
Stretch Marks? No
Sleep? Same as it has been all pregnancy- wake up at 330am ish every night. Not much of a complaint though. I will say though that rolling over is painful in my pelvis region.
Best Moment of the Week? Doing first two loads of baby laundry and sorting baby clothes by size. Being able to feel baby parts (a butt in particular) when I poke at my belly.
Movement? Movement feels different. Not sure how to explain it.
Food Cravings? Nothing I can think of.
Gender? Will know in 4 weeks give or take-
What i miss? Wearing my wedding rings.
Symptoms: Pelvic pain, heartburn, feet feeling a bit swollen in my shoes, but don't look too swollen
Looking forward to: Final birth class, cutting back on my hours at work, getting carpets cleaned
Weekly Wisdom: Breathe.
Milestones: Tags removed from new baby clothes and washed and put away. Big milestone!
Emotions: Been more anxious lately. I worry when baby is more mellow- I don't like that at all. Also I am just in awe and a bit of a daze- not feeling like I am very present or grounded.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Reflections at 35 weeks
Today marks 35 weeks. We will have a baby in our arms in no more than 7 weeks! And could be sooner. I am very aware of the "countdown" in everything I am doing these days. Don't get me wrong, I am so unbelievable excited, but anxiety and some moments of panic are creeping in. It is so surreal to wait for so long for this, to want this so badly for so many manys years. And then to be within weeks of becoming a family of three? It is so incredibly hard to wrap my head around.
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