The question came earlier then I was expecting. Then again, I went to my first doctor's appointment since the d&c earlier than I had expected.
"Will you try again?"
How does one answer that question? I don't even know where to begin. Sigh... I promised myself from the time I found out that I had miscarried, that I would give myself as much time as I needed to answer that question. But the question was asked, so I am digesting it now.
When I was in the midst of the miscarriage, the dark cloud suffocating me, I said to myself there is no way I can survive this a third time. Even before I knew I had miscarried, while I was in what I call the 8 week wait (waiting for the first ultrasound), the waiting was such torture that I told myself I couldn't go through this again.
But..
How do I give this up? How does one decide that its time to stop? I just don't know.
Today I won't decide. But the decision will have to be made, I hope I know when I am ready to make it......
Give yourself as much time as possible to heal and come to terms. If either of those are really ever possible. Be kind and be gentle to yourself. Do to yourself what you would tell a friend going through the same thing. Lean on someone's shoulder. In real life and in our community. I promise you it helps. I'll be that should if you'd like. Rest and take it easy, hon.
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The decision will come when you are ready. Now is probably not the time but at some point it will become clear what you want and need to do.
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