It doesn't take long as you read in the IF blogosphere to see that this Sunday, and the days leading up to it are often tough days. I know that is where I am right now... So, here is what came to me today.
As Sunday approaches and I put one foot in front of the other,
I choose not to grieve who I am not and what I don't have.
Rather, I choose to celebrate who I am and what I do have.
I do not know what it is like to give birth to a child
I am not experiencing the butterfly kicks of a child within me.
I do not have children according to the definitions of society.
I am not a mother in the eyes of most.
But I am more than what I am not.
I have a mother that loves me with all her being and has done her best to raise me to be who I am.
I am who I am in part because of the women who have been mother's to me- my mom, my mother's mom, and my aunt.
I have had the privilege of knowing what it feels like to have your heart gripped by love for children that you did not give birth to or raise. My step children and my "daughter" Yolle who we came so close to adopting- you have forever changed me.
I am keenly aware of the ways in which my desire to "mother" can give back to this world in so many ways.
I have clarity in my heart and soul that I am living out a purposeful life here on this earth. I do not know how or what, but of this I am certain.