Friday, November 12, 2010

the makings of a plan

I have a plan. Rather I am making a plan.

Something connected for me and I have found a renewed energy and interest in making sure that no stone is unturned.

We have been TTC for 18 months since our last miscarriage. And to be honest.. I thought we would be moving on to IVF by now. But I am just not ready. I need to feel like IVF is our only option before committing that much money towards it. Part of it has been the emotional healing I needed to do, and now that has taken place in a significant way, I am realizing that I just don't feel like we have enough information to go on. I want, I NEED, to feel like we have exhausted all our options short of IVF.

And I have had lingering suspicions that a few stones have not bee thoroughly turned over yet. Namely: Endometriosis and PCOS/Insulin Resistance. But also, I just need to explore all corners of possibilities.

So I have a plan. In the next 4 weeks I have appointments made with my gynecologist, my RE, and a new naturpath (I stopped going to my old one because he was 45 minutes away and not convenient. I needed someone more accessible). I don't fully trust that any one of them will be as aggressive as I want them to be in exploring these concerns- but hopefully, going to all three of them I'll get some movement.

The pain I experienced this last cycle was a wake up call. And it made me realize I have probably been overlooking quite a bit of pain over the past year (years?) related to AF and just pelvic region- unexplainable pain. So, while I am a little worried what it might mean, I feel like I will now have a better chance of being heard by my doc when I explain what happened this past cycle. That level of pain can't be normal. My mom had severe endometriosis. I have no doubt now that it msut be explored more thoroughly in my case.

I also am convinced that I am insulin resistant. I struggle writing that because I feel like I have been asking around the edges of this issue with doctors for a long time, and don't feel like I have been taken seriously. Which makes me feel like I must just be making this up. But losing weight has been a nearly insurmountable task. Diabetes is in my family. I have long complained to doctors about feeling like my body doesn't regulate sugars well. All this is a roundabout way to saying possibly PCOS? Or maybe something else? Maybe something that naturphatic medicine might be more in tune to? I don't have the classic symptoms for PCOS, but I believe that not everything fits neatly in a diagnosis box. Regardless, I need to feel like it has been thoroughly explored.

A plan is in place. Here is hoping that I come out on the other side of this next 4 weeks with some more information.

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