Thursday, November 25, 2010

The things that most deserve our gratitude

We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder

We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude. ~Cynthia Ozick

(Forgive my rant from yesterday, my heart is still raw with the news, but for now, it is a day for gratitude.)

My husband- I can't begin to express my gratitude for this man, my best friend, life partner and the most amazing manifestation of "family" I have ever known. There are not words to express how grateful I am to share each day with you.

Our home- Every wall, door, electrical outlet in our little condo has been our handy work, and our vision for a simple, modest home that we can share with others. I'm grateful we chose to live small and simple and cherish all the ways in which we have shared it with others.

Steady income- I give thanks that for right now, we have good jobs, steady income, and a plan to pay off our school loans very soon.

Friends that are like family- My family is small and always has been small. I have only a few cousins and we never really were close with them. My mom was an only child and my dad's siblings didn't have many kids. My husband's family is also small, fragmented, and dysfunctional. We've always viewed our close friends as part of the extended family we never had- and I am continually in awe of how loved we are from these friends.

The love I glimpsed- It is hard to talk about "gratitude" when it comes to our miscarriages. Most of the last almost 3 years has been healing and grieving those losses and living in fear that we'll never have a living child. But I would be amiss if I didn't speak my gratitude for those tiny windows of time in which the two lines appeared and I was carrying life in me. I never knew it was possible to love in that way, I never knew I could feel such immense joy in the blink of an eye. For two tiny windows of time, my love overflowed for the life created within and all I hope he or she would be. And for those slivers of time, I am grateful.

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