Wednesday, November 24, 2010

So messed up

10 weeks.

my younger sister is 10 weeks pregnant.

she finally had the guts to tell me today.

Happy f&%@$in thanksgiving to me.

it is her second baby. Had our first pregnancy not ended in miscarriage, her first daughter, now 2 years old, and our child would have been the same age.

she is not married. no education. no job. nothing.

she has been separated from her boyfriend, and the father to both babies, for more than a year.

the layers of why this is so messed up go on and on....

Talk about a slap in the face to how much time, energy and emotional energy we've put into trying to have a family.

Lord, God, there is so much i don't understand. So much....

My heart is breaking in two tonight.


  1. I'm so sorry. Yes, you are more than right. It is wring on so many levels. I don't understand why it works this way. You never see people like your sister with fertility problems. Sometimes it almost seems as if being jobless, husbandless, and without direction in life are all perfect ingredients for making a baby or two or five. I don't understand God's ways with this, and I guess we'll just have to ask Him when we get there. I pray that you are able to feel peace thus Thanksgiving. Again, I'm so sorry.

  2. Stories like this are shitty enough to hear from afar without it being your own sister, who is not married or in a relationship. There are no two ways about it. It sucks. I hope you find the ability to have a peaceful thanksgiving knowing that you have a partner who loves you and is by your side. While we often look at what others have that we want so much, I suspect your relationship may be one of those things for her. Hugs to you, hang in there, your time WILL come.

  3. My heart aches for you....truly aches. And I can honestly say that I have questioned "why" people who are so ill equipped can get pregnant in the blink of an eye...when those of us who are ready, prepared and desire a child so strongly have to suffer so deeply.


    Praying for you and sending you many HUGS