(I know my blog is all pregnancy, all the time these days, but just to forewarn those who might not be up to reading today, today's post is feels even more heavy with pregnancy and baby talk. I don't want to add to any hurting hearts)
We heard the heartbeat again today. 17weeks 1 day. The midwife today was all business, so didn't get to hear it for long, but it was extremely easy to find and humming away at 140-150 beats a minute. The releif to my worried mind was instant and immense.
I know I shouldn't worry, but it is so hard not too. It is an interesting time in the pregnancy, in that I am not as preoccupied with morning sickness and first trimester exhaustion and yet I am not feeling the kid move. So it is just this entirely still, silent, growing stomach. That calls me to have faith, to trust in that which is can't been seen or felt.
It is entirely a walk of faith.
Like so much of this journey is.
I also received our first gift for the kid today while I was at work. It was such a surprise and so unexpected, it was from a dear colleague whom I love, but am really just getting to know. As I opened it, I barely held back the tears and quivering lip as I thanked her profusely. She made it. Planned for it, sharing in our excitement. Picked out the yarn and the colors and created this-
A baby hat. For a real baby. Our baby. Growing in that silent bulging belly that calls me to have faith.
I am still in utter awe of how it is that any of this is actually happening.