Dump

Random thoughts dumped into this post in no particular order:

This week, I think I'd rather be a kid, than a grown up. Too many grown up things to fret about. Too many grown up decisions to make. Too many times I just want to crawl under the covers and stay in bed.

The modified contract at my work, from Part-time to FT didn't look how I had been told it would look. There are some minor major things, if that makes sense, that have caused me to rethink this offer. I had an appointment with HR today to sign it, and I asked for more time. The thing is- I have NO idea what will happen if I don't sign it. It is possible that by NOT accepting the FT contract, I would also lose my PT job. I'm fretting.

And to be honest- I just think I need to be honest about the fact that during the month of March each year, there is just not going to be anything I like. Subconscious grieving most likely at work this week. Too many anniversaries. I feel like I am dragging.

I have 4 blog posts saved in my drafts- started and never finished. Been having trouble what to say. Tired of..., I guess just tired. Tired of saying I am tired. Trying to have grace for myself that I know this too will pass. I won't grieve forever. I know it comes and goes.

I'm leaving the church I have worshipped at for the past 11 years. I don't know what "leaving" means. Maybe just a break, maybe permanently. I have been struggling for a while- and when I started dreading Sundays, I knew something had to give. I went to another church service this past week. I am remembering how hard it is to "church shop." Especially after 11 years at the same place. But hoping I can find a safe place to heal some of my hurts, and find a faith community that shares my values.