If I could

A while back, I posted this post titled If I Could Pray...

I decided that the post needed to return. Maybe this should be a regular posting on my blog.

I can't seem to pray these days. And I know for certain I am not able to listen, even if I were to pray.

But if I were to pray....


I'd pray that I could come to peace with the topic of adoption. I'd pray damnit that the decision to or not too wasn't so frickin' painful.

I'd pray that I could be a better wife each and every day. But also that I continue to learn to ask for what I need.

I'd pray that it won't hurt too much when I hold my dear friend's baby for the first time who is due any day now.

I'd pray that I'd find more peace. Peace to get through the day. Peace in making plans and also in not making plans.

I'd pray that I'd find some direction, and not feel like I am wandering in the wilderness.

I'd pray that I am making the right choices and not simply avoiding the difficult ones.