Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Dare I say..

This is the most hope I have felt in a long time. I think there has only been one other time in the past three years that I have felt so hopeful, truly hopeful that indeed we will come out of this IF journey with a baby in our arms.

Knock on wood, but it feels so good for a change.

I daydream at work. I find myself smiling as I am driving, thinking about what it would be like to see a flicker of a heartbeat on an u/s screen, for a change.

Co-workers talk about plans, 3, 4, 9 months from now- and I grin as I calculate how far a long I might be.

I know this is a very presumptuous. And I would be lying if I didn't admit that there is a voice in the inner most part of me that is screaming "you silly, silly lady, why subject yourself to more disappointment, you know the rug will be pulled out from under you - FAST AND HARD!"

And yet I am giddy and hopeful and looking forward to AF arriving so I can call and starting scheduling blood work.

Approximately 17 days and counting until Operation IVF Cycle #1 commences.

And the one thing that is most certainly true. I have no doubt that this is what I want more than anything.


  1. I wish you the best of luck with your IVF journey. We have just finished our first round of IVF/ICSI and currently slugging it out in the TWW. Hoping we get lucky first time round!

  2. That's because IVF is the mackdadddy in ART and has a very good success rate ;) so go ahead and be excited!

  3. I hope this upcoming cycle is the smoothest yet and it makes your day dreams come true.