Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Bullet points

Updates in bullets:

- POAS yesterday (CD11) and BFN. Now I have to decide if I buy more sticks or just wait it out. Not really hopeful for this cycle anymore, but also wanting to just have the answer so I can stop being in limbo.
- How did I get so lucky to be married to DH? I just pinch myself that he is my husband. For whatever reason(s), this cycle, our relationship deepened and got even richer. In the midst of all the whirling storm around us, I feel like in our relationship there has been a centered and quiet stillness and a bubbling up of joy. I pray I never take that for granted.
- Had lunch today with a friend who is becoming even more of a friend who knows this journey all too well. Oh, how wonderful it was to share and commiserate with one another, but also bittersweet because as much as I find joy in the connection, it hurts that the connecting point is IF/and loss. No one should have to walk this road. Especially her.
- What next? DH and I are in agreement we are taking a break from IUIs. Maybe permanently, maybe temporarily. I feel good with this decision for now. A month or two of trying on our own. Maybe with clomid/femara, maybe nothing. What next after that? I don't know. Follow up with the RE. Explore the shared risk IVF plan. Apply for a domestic adoption. All of the above, none of the above.
- That is all for now. Need to get some sleep.

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