Friday, February 12, 2010

Gameboard of life turned upside down

I know my list of goals in my last post was very type A of me. And I know, even though the choices I am making for my goals are good, healthy choices, I know that those goals and plans are, in part, my desire to pretend I have control. When what I REALLY want, I don't have control over obtaining. I know all of this.

And I know my "plan" can be turned upside down in a heart beat- leaving me with a new path to follow. Sometimes when I the gameboard is turned upside down, and the pieces land back on the game board-- sometimes, sometimes- I smile, knowing that the path ahead just got very interesting.... and in a way that I couldn't have every planned for.

That happened today.

Preface: We are taking a break from TTC. For my sanity and for me to focus on some other goals, and for us to try on our own until we really truly feel sure IVF is our only option, and until we have saved enough money for IVF (our insurance doesn't cover it).

This is where it gets interesting.

I work part-time at my paying job. And I have my own business (which doesn't make much). My own business is at a crossroads and I had some decisions to make. I also knew I needed to find someway of increasing our income if IVF would ever be an option. I thought it would be through my own business. But looks like that isn't the way it will go.

The president of the company I work for just told my boss, that he is upping my position to Full-time. My salary will double. It is a much longer story than that- I won't bore you with the details, the fact that our company is going to be laying off a lot of people in the next 4 weeks and I got spared, that this full-time gig might only be for 1-2 years with the option to returning to part-time (insert ideas about maternity leave and being able to not have to work full-time if baby comes).

I couldn't have planned this. this wasn't even on my radar. I had planned for my job to maybe be cut. I had planned for changes to my job, but not an increase to full time.

The longer version of this story is that I job share- and the reason I am going to be going full-time is that my job share person needs to take a leave of absence for 18 months or so to be home with her twin toddlers (ironically, also IVF twins). And in an ideal world, she would want to come back to job sharing. Which I LIKE that idea. In the mean time, her unexpected leave coupled with the grace of our president in sparing our job, give me 18 months of full time income- more than enough to save for IVF.

Holy smokes sherlock.

If feel like the combination of my goals from last post and this new full-time job and income, has given me some expectant peace. A knowing that maybe in deed, this IS going to happen. IVF or by some natural miracle, we will get pregnant, and it is okay with my soul whenever it happens. If we need IVF, the odds are in our favor. Meaning, if come 2011 we start IVF- chances are we will be pregnant or even have a baby in 2011.

And now, it looks like affording that option just got even easier...

1 comment:

  1. Wow, sometimes the road of life really does rise up to meet you, not always in the way you expect, but definitely in some way. I'm glad that seems to be happening for you now. Good luck with everything.