Thursday, January 14, 2010

Stark

The absence of that second pick line is so stark white as it glares at you. It is like it screams at you.

Now we wait for AF to finally arrive.

I wrote yesterday about wanting to be done with being in Limbo. The reality is the limbo is never done. I have just entered a new limbo. It was the "did this cycle work or not limbo" now it is the "will this ever work or not" limbo.

Decisions to be made: letrozal, clomid, or non-medicated this cycle. Do the follow up test to the HSG or not (need to find out the cost). Do the follow up test this cycle or not.

Fuck.

Trying to reconnect with the hope that carried me through this cycle. Can't quite find it. Hoping it finds me.

6 comments:

  1. I'm sorry. It never gets any easier, does it?

    I hope your hope finds you also. (((HUGS)))

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  2. I am so sorry. Being in limbo - any kind - just stinks.

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  3. I am so sorry, praying that your hope finds it way back to you. ((hugs))

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  4. I'm sorry hon. You are in my prayers xxx

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  5. I'm really sorry ((Hugs))

    Yes, there are different steps in this whole journey...getting pregnant and then pregnant...each step brings all new emotions and worries.

    But, I understand you want to take the next step in the same 'old limbo.

    I think HSG is between 3-400 dollars. I am not for sure. Can you do that this next cycle and letrazol??

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