I've been wondering lately whether nesting is myth or fact or something in between. I've heard many moms talk about in hindsight the insane cleaning they felt compelled to do right before labor started. I have had a nesting urge during this pregnancy, but it felt a lot stronger earlier on. Now my body feels so sore and tired, I can't even fathom an all out "nesting" episode.
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In our birth class, the first of the 11 (?) couples had their baby. They sent out pictures and a birth story. And I see the pic of mom and dad, sitting in the hospital bed, with newborn baby, everyone a glow, and I just can't imagine that will actually be us. Soon! The round belly with an alien inside of it seems so far disconnected from the concept of a wiggly, crying baby in my arms. I just can't fathom there actually being a baby- our baby- at the end of this. It still feels like something that only happens to other people. I don't know when or if it will ever feel real.
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Our carpets are cleaned. I am still so excited. But I will admit it has been a lot of work. I was in so much pain today in my pelvis and back from over doing it. and the house is SO unsettled as we let everything dry that DH and I are both discombobulated. But they look so nice and fresh and I am bound and determined to not let any clutter return when we start putting things back. It feels so good to have the rooms all emptied out.
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I've had some anxiety lately - a feeling that I should someone "feel" more ready, or "feel" more excited about how close we are to baby time. But going back to my previous thoughts shared, it just doesn't feel real. And as a result, I can't fathom the joy that is (from everything everyone tells me) just around the corner. I am really having a hard time imagining what is to come.
I have to say, I had some little bursts of "nesting" leading up to the big day, but during those last few weeks I just felt TIRED. I kept wondering if it was going to come over me like I'd heard, but it really didn't. Nevertheless, it feels great to get things done and crossed off of the list.
ReplyDeleteAs far as feeling ready, I think it's one of those things that is just so completely surreal (especially when you've waited so long) that your brain has no idea how to process it until your baby is in your arms. Even then I kept thinking, "Is this really MY baby?" Just remember that you are as prepared as you can be, and all of those feelings will catch up. I know your heart is plenty big enough for all that love and joy that is to come!
I felt tired except for a few days in there when that nesting urge hit me hard. I'd be minding my own business and then I'd notice a lightswitch looked grubby and it was over - I would grab cleaner and scrub, scrub, scrub. Before I even realized it I was a cleaning freak! LOL!
ReplyDeleteI was the first to give birth of 8 couples due around the same time at our birth center and it was weird to look at our own pictures! To know the experiences I had giving birth to him and seeing how happy and seemingly easy it was in the after-picture, hee hee! It's AMAZING and I cannot wait to hear your birth story, find out baby's gender, etc.!!!