Obsessions and Anxiety

I've been obsessed with looking for a dresser for the baby's room. Obsessed.

And it is so unlike me. We really aren't decorating a nursery. Our small condo needs to be multi functional so the "baby's room" isn't quite yet exclusively a nursery. So we are making spaces for baby, but still with an eye to multi-functional.

I decided we needed more storage for baby clothes and diapers and I wanted a surface to make into a changing table, but didn't want to buy an actual changing table. So I started shopping on craigslist - and it turns out, not only was I very picky, but I was wanting to pay almost nothing for it. AND turns out- dressers are popular on CL, so hemming and hawing was not an option as they were selling fast. I have been scouring CL for a dresser for weeks with no luck. I have probably emailed a dozen different sellers and nothing has worked out yet.

Tonight I struck gold. I found the cutest lil dresser, perfect dimensions, perfect color and style for my taste and only $30! From the time I found it on CL to having it back home and in our quasi nursery- 2 hours flat. And DH humored me and went with as my pack horse to lug the thing into the car, even though he had a lot of work to do tonight.

I am so so pleased to be able to move on to my next obsession now that I have that off my list. For the record, I have no idea what on my to-do list is going to be my next obsession, but I am sure something will rise to the surface.


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As we were leaving to go pick up the dresser, we opened our front door and a large box was sitting at our front door, dropped off by the UPS truck. Our car seat. Our baby's car seat. DH got all giddy, only to turn around and find me silently crying. I a surprised by how much it took my breath away- I mean, I ordered the dang thing, I KNEW it was coming soon. But to actually see it there on our front step was surreal...., or actually it was just so REAL.

I am just so so in awe that this is really happening. I can't believe we actually are going to need a car seat. in OUR car.


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anxiety

it is rearing its head again. that constant worry that something is going to go wrong. that something IS wrong. I am spending way too much time analyzing every little baby movement (or lack there of) and sapping all my emotional energy in the meantime. I just wish I could be carefree. I wish I didn't know first hand that happy endings aren't always the way things go.
Breathe....