"What is faith? Faith is being grasped by the power of love. Faith is recognizing that what makes God is infinite mercy, not infinite control; not power, but love unending. Faith is recognizing that if at Christmas Jesus became like us, it was o that we might become more like him. We know what that means: watching Jesus heal the sick, empower the poor, and scorn the powerful, we see transparently the power of God at work. Watching Zacchaeus climb the tree a crook and come down a saint, watching Paul set out a hatchet man for the Pharisees and return a fool for Christ, we know that our lives too can become channels for divine mercy to flow out to save the lost and the suffering."
-Will.iam Sl.oane Co.ffin
My default state, if I am honest, is to ask "why me?" I find myself grieving because I don't want this journey that I am on. I want it MY way. The way I had planned it.
This reading above was used as part of our church service recently and it so spoke to me. So often I am looking for the ways in which God is in control, or for things to be fixed, or made right. And in fixating on that, I miss the ways in which I am "grasped by the power of love" in the process. I had a conversation today in an unexpected place, with a unexpected friend about infertility. And I was overcome with peace in the midst of that conversation. Unexpected peace. And I was reminded the ways in which we and others around us become "channels of divine mercy" that flows out around us... so often in the unexpected.
And I keep fighting to find and stay in this center...