Follie check and spending

I called earlier this week to schedule my follicle check for CD13. First I called the RE clinic that has been doing (almost all) my consultations and both of my two IUIs. The doctor who would be doing my U/S this cycle was not my favorite, but I figured "oh well, it is just an quick u/s". DH and I had toyed with the idea of switching to the other RE clinic for this cycle- but given it is farther away and given we just know how things work at our current RE, we had decided to stay with what we know for this IUI. But when I found out which doctor I'd be seeing...I just thought- heck, why not try the other clinic. So I called the RE clinic that did my HSG last week, just to see what time and which doctor I would see. They had the exact same time slot for an u/s as our other clinic. And as it turns out, it would be my RE doing the u/s. I really like this REI, even though we haven't had many appointments. So I'll be doing IUI#3 with the further away clinic. It makes the logistics a bit more complicated as it is further away, but all in all I feel good about it.

This is my first cycle on Letrozal/Femara. First of all- the price. OMG! It was 10x more expensive then clomid because I couldn't buy the generic. Is that really true? is there really no generic version of Femara? That just didn't seem right, but I didn't have time with us going out of town to research it further. So, in the big picture of IF related expenses, big deal, but if it wasn't for my new RE strongly advising switching, I would really be reconsidering.

Also, because this is a new drug, we have no idea how I will respond. I responded well to clomid, but it is a guessing game with this cycle. I am crossing my fingers that all goes the same and that by CD13 u/s I will be ready to trigger. I really hope I don't have to go back more than once waiting for the follicles to be ready.


I think I am mostly just going the the motions this cycle. Sometimes it becomes so routine that I forget that all the mundaness of doc appointments, drugs, tests, etc are all for a bigger purpose. It is sort of sad that it has become so much a part of our lives that it has become routine. But, it does help time pass faster.

I have started feeling a little panicky about the money we are spending. I don't know where that is coming from. I think I feel like there is no end in sight. If I KNEW that this would all lead to our desired outcome, or even if I KNEW for sure that I would have no regrets, I know that I wouldn't get panicky about spending the money. And in reality, we have barely even dipped out feet in the pool of IF treatment options as far as expenses go. And insurance has covered far more than I ever thought. And we HAVE the money in our savings to spend, which he had intentionally saved so that we would have it to help with growing our family. But it is still hard. I question myself as to if we are really spending according to our values. I question myself as to how far I will go down this road and at what cost. My hope is that at the right time, I will just know when the timing is right for us to stop or redirect. I hope I will know.