Contentness?

I love a spontaneous afternoon of baking cookies. Unplanned, unprepared for, just deciding that the ingredients in the cupboard would go nicely together and then making a mess of the kitchen

I love a Saturday morning spent at the gym. Aerobics class, some weights, and then back home for a healthy lunch and a hot shower. Why, I must ask myself do I get out of the habitat of doing this??

I love my morning commute- a 5 mile bike ride, 45 minutes on the bus to people watch, while I am lost in the world of the tunes on my mp3 player with no demands on my time and no distractions. I love the sense of community and cooperation that comes with using public transportation.

I love slow mornings, when DH and I find our selves giggling in bed like school kids. After all these years, I still am in awe that the joy just bubbles out of us in the form of silly giggles as we make each other laugh and talk about important and non-important stuff.

I like a clean fridge. With drawers full of fresh produce washed and ready to eat. with see-through tupperware containers of a variety of foods and meals that were made in advance. Granted, this isn't always the state of my fridge, but its the goal.

I love Yollie. She doesn't get talked about much on this blog as she is old enough to tell her own story. She wanted to be our daughter- officially and legally and we wanted to be her parents. But it couldn't happen the way we wanted it to. She is growing up, and we miss her terribly, but lately we have had some phone call exchanges and the sound of her voice warms my heart. She will always be my daughter.

My heart has been a bit lighter these days. Contentness is creeping back in. I feel that I have guarded my heart from feel contentness, but I know it is a good thing. I still fear that by feeling content, that the rug will be pulled out from under me once again. But for today, I am enjoying just being.