I have been horrible at commenting lately. I am still reading along! And will engage again soon I think.
We took a break this cycle from the world of IF treatments, and it has been so good for me. I am breathing again. It was a hard decision to make- but in the end it was a good decision. We will resume next cycle with and IUI and a HSG. I am also going to be changing from Clomid to Letrozol (spelling?)next cycle for a couple of reasons (a post for a later time).
But for this cycle, our TTC journey and my reproductive equipment is my own. No doctors, exams, blood draws, medicines, NADA!
Of course, that doesn't mean we are not trying. :)(feel free to stop reading if you don't care to hear me talk about -you know, ahem- the husband and I, and you know what)
We are not taking a total break. Smile, smirk, grinning ear to ear. And it has been wonderful. Oh, how I have missed the old fashioned way. Just the two of us, no doctors, no medical equipment up my who-ha, no rushing to the lab with swimmers in a plastic cup. And sure, there is still temperature charting each morning and I have peed on 5 OPKs in the past several days, but when it comes to DH and I being together- it is just us, no agenda, no burden, no "trying", it is just us! Sigh..heaven.
In some ways it has even been empowering- to be in charge of my own attempts at procreating. In doing IUIs, it definitely can feel like it is being done "to you" and you are a long for the ride, a passive recipient with no control in the matter. (okay, we never really have control over the outcome, but you know what I mean).
As I have been learning, my cycles seem to work how they are supposed to as far as I can tell. My BBT temperature spike and my positive OPKs and DH and I doing the woopdy-doo all worked according to plan this cycle. We did everything within our power. (Side note: this was my first time using OPKs on a non-medicated cycle- I have to say that I think I enjoyed the thrill of being able to get a positive on a pee stick. After so many negative pregnancy pee sticks, even a positive OPK is a boost to my confidence.)
So, we enter the 2ww. But in the meantime, I am going to the gym again, have gotten back on track at weightwatchers, and feeling a lot more centered. Now, the goal is to keep centered even during IUI cycles.
Still trying to trust that there is a bigger plan in all of this.