Friday, February 25, 2011

Double, baby, Double.

(*First, I just want to speak from the heart and say to any readers who find it hard to read any of my recent posts (or posts to come) that may contain the "p" word, or posts in which I am ecstatic with good news, know that I never ever intend to be hurtful or insensitive to other readers who may not be in a good place right now. I said it in this post and I'll say it again "My heart feels like it is pushed to the max at the depth and breadth of loss and joy that exists simultaneously in this community. It is rarely anything in between. The losses of life, of innocence, and of hope are brutal. And the joys- of new life and of hope anew are beyond our wildest dreams." And I am very aware of that tension with every post I write. I hope that in being real in my writing I don't unintentionally cause hurt to others. And I totally get if you ever need to step away. Truly.)

Waiting for the nurse to call today almost KILLED me. My blood work was at 745am this morning. And on Wednesday, I had my bw at the same time and the nurse called at 12:30pm. So I had it in my head she would call in a similar timeframe. But NO, she didn't call until 3pm. I was so completely unproductive at work. I had convinced myself that the news was bad or something freaky happened and she was having to wait on the doctor to find out what to do with me. I envisioned SO many crazy things in that several fretful hours of waiting. I really wanted to call and bug her, but the side of me that insists on being the "good" patient, the "low-maintenance" patient won out and I refrained (this time) from calling.

And, oh, it was worth the wait.


Doubling time of 41 hours (if I used the online calculator correctly). Up from 162 on Wednesday (yes, this time I remembered to write it down when she called, but I still had to ask three times because I was barely keeping my head on straight.

Oh my! Oh my! Oh my!

And I feel hopeful, people. HOPEFUL! I didn't think it was possible to hope again. But somewhere, somehow it has crept in, and for today I am hopeful, calm, and feeling like I have what it takes to make it through this next very long wait until the u/s.

Oh, I hope so.


  1. You don't hurt me because your pregnant and I'm not. I know you have been on his journey a long time and it's your turn!!! It gives me hope that I'll get my hope one day soon as well. Again I'm so happy for you and I'll keep reading!

  2. Wow... fantastic result :)) Congratulations again on your wonderful news. I'm with ousoonerchick... it is certainly your turn and you deserve to cherish and be proud of every moment of this exciting time :)) You're story gives me too and I'll be with you every step of the way xoxo

  3. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    You will find, as time goes on, that you will lose and gain readers as your situation changes. It's the "infertility circle of life." At first, it was so hard for me when regular readers and good blogging friend stopped coming by, but after awhile, others came in their place. I came to realize that such is the nature of blogging. But gosh, you are such a good person to think of the people "left behind", as it were. I know that I always did/do. It's so hard, sometimes. But I guess I just try and remember that infertility is not a zero-sum game. Your miracle takes nothing away from someone else's chance to have one.

    God Bless, my friend. And I sent you an e-mail a few weeks ago. . . I'd love to get together if your schedule/health permits.

  4. Double wow! Congrats on great numbers.

    Very sweet of you to reach out for the ones that are not there yet.

  5. Yayyy! I'm so happy for you! I hope everything continues to go extremely well!

  6. Yea for doubling! I'm glad you feel hopeful, you should!

  7. Hooray! And as Katie says as your life changes your readership changes. But you should never let it stop you from sharing any joy you are experiencing. You get to feel however you feel! It's okay if people have to step away eventually. Personally I'm super excited for you. No drinks for you at our next GTG.

  8. Wonderful, wonferful news!! Sorry about the waiting, though, that always drives me nutty, too!