Today is 9 weeks 6 days. Tomorrow I will reach double digits- 10 weeks pregnant.
It seems like I have been walking in a fog for a really long time now. A fog of joy, fear, bloatiness, nausea, exhaustion, hope. I feel like I am slowly coming out of the fog. The nausea is so much better than it was. I still get nauseous, it comes out of no where and knocks me off my feet. But it is far easier to deal with than the 24/7 constant state I was in. I also am less exhausted- last night i looked at the clock at it was 9:49pm and I was still happily working on a project and lost track of time. I have not been awake in the 9pm hour for weeks and weeks. So, this is progress. I was not expecting to have relief from it so early in the trimester. And the fact that I am feeling better is still my greatest source of fear. The constant nausea was horrible, but it brought some reassurance. My next u/s is on Friday (10wk3day). I am so glad I have another one for some piece of mind.
I read up quite often on the week by week development of this kid, and look at other people's u/s pics, etc online. DH is more of a go with the flow and doesn't spend as much time reading up on it. Yesterday, while DH and were having a lazy morning in bed, I read for him what all is developing at week 10. He was absolutely awestruck. It was really sweet and one of the highlights of my week. He is already so in love with this kid and I visibly saw him melting in front of me as he fell in love even deeper. I showed him some u/s pics of 10 weeks, and we were both just in shock how quickly the fetus grows at this stage. Granted, I thought our 8week u/s was the cutest thing ever, but in just two more weeks, it is actually looking even more and more like a b-a-b-y. (according to google images).
I told my boss my news. It was a bit spur of the moment and much earlier than I had planned to, but I knew she was going to be meeting with the Vice President of Human Resources about some big picture staffing things in our office. And, well, given some info I had been given, I felt like it might be to my advantage to get my news to her before she met with HR. It was a gamble, because again there was not predicting how she would react- but I decided to do it.
Sharing the news with her went really well (I wasn't expecting the news to be well received. She can be really hard to predict). And I think that in the end, given her reaction - I think that as best as I can tell, it was the best decision to tell her before she went to HR. I think it might result in a few more doors being left open for flexible job possibilities for the future.
She seemed to truly be thrilled for us. She even hugged me and teared up. After the news settled in a bit she did then take a deep breath and ask me about future plans. I didn't know quite what to say because we haven't decided what I plan to do. I am seriously considering quitting this job. But I feel like it could be career suicide to say that this early. I did hint at it though and let her know that this is all new and DH and I are trying to wrap our heads around it. And told her that we are seriously considering all options from me staying at home to coming back full-time to coming back part-time. So I put it out there, but left it vague enough so that I feel like it is still my decision in the end. The only part that was a bit surprising is she said she'd like to know by June/early July what I intend to do. That just seems awfully soon, but we'll see. I know I need to give her some time to process it all as well.