I had my midwife appointment today.................and we heard the heartbeat with the dopplar. We. heard. it.
Tears rolled down my cheeks and continue to flow even as I type this. I was so worried we wouldn't be able to hear it and it would leave me in limbo without the assurance that all is okay.
The relief and joy that that sound brought to my spirit was the most wonderful salve for my wounded heart.
I heard my child's heartbeat inside of me.
Tomorrow I will be officially 13 weeks.
Lord God, I am in absolute awe and completely humbled that we are in this place. Never let me forget the dark and broken journey that led us to this place. Never. I don't ever want to take this for granted. I pray with all my being that I may live a life that is worthy of raising this lil' being in this world.
There is so much in this universe that I don't understand- the darkness and the light both, they baffle me. I will never understand how it is possible to know such deep deep despair and such utter overwhelming joy all in one lifetime. I struggle to believe, I struggle to continue to have faith. But I know that you are redeeming all of this, in ways that are beyond human comprehension. I know.