A new day and a new goal

I work up feeling better today.  Physically and emotionally.  I am SO grateful to be feeling better.

And with feeling better came some clarity around my feelings about my job.  I've came to a final decision and made up my mind that I am not going to go back to my current job full-time after the kid comes.  I spent some time playing with Excel spread sheets today and yesterday, (which is wonderfully therapeutic for me).  And I looked at the calendar, and I weighed options.  And I have complete certainity that I do not want to go back to my current job full-time.  It isn't good for me or us.  And I know we can do without my full-time salary at least for the short-term.

So the ball will be in my boss's court when I tell her (sometime this summer probably is when I'll tell her).  And IF she proposes part-time work as an alternative, then I will have to make that decision.  That is a tougher decision, but I am leaning towards turning that down as well, but we will see. My hope is this:  I have my heart set on having the summer off with DH the first summer we have the kid.  (His teaching schedule allows him 3 months off in the summer).  And I just really love the idea of slowing down and neither one of us working for just one summer. The kid will be around 8-10 months old.  And I want to visit the grandparents for an extended amount of time.  Spend time with the cousins.  Go on picnics (Okay, we've never gone on a picnic before, but you know what I mean).  I'll have to work again eventually, and maybe it is pie in the sky to even hope for this.  But we will see. 

I just has been such a whirlwind in life...lately, and for a really long time. From the time we have gotten married there just has been so many chaos inducing times in our life, again and again.  I know that having this kid will turn our life upside down again (in a good way, but also chaos inducing in its own way).  And I just want to slow down as much of the chaos as I can. 

This is what I am aiming for.  One summer of being free from our jobs and together.  Dh, me, and the kid.