Saturday, April 2, 2011

Pregnancy weight gain: From the Husband's point of view

I will admit, that I struggle with wanting to weight myself weekly to help ensure I don't gain too much and on the other hand wanting to stay as far away from the scale as possible because the weight gain seems so outside of my ability to control it. And I am only still in the first trimester! My pants were already starting to feel snug and the bra was feeling full literally from about 5 weeks on- undoubtedly from a combination of IVF bloat, comfort eating, and well maybe actual pregnancy- I told DH about this blog post I had read that really hit home for me as I try to embrace what is already happening with my body and what most certainly (and hopefully) lies ahead. This got DH to writing and his writing is one of the many things I love about this man. I loved what he wrote so much I politely asked begged pleaded for him to let me share this on my blog. And he agreed- so, some reflections from DH's perspective (and evidence why I love him all the more):

"There are numbers to describe us on a driver’s license, a passport, a voter’s registration card, our blood pressure, people who have died at the hands of a suicide bomber or a military skirmish.

And there are numbers for the level of HCG hormone in an expectant mother’s bloodstream, numbers for a planet impacted by global warming, a drunk driver’s level of intoxication, a student’s grade point average or for the mass that comprises a person’s bodily weight.

How is it that while these numbers literally and figuratively have meaning, they also bear little or no resemblance to the complexities of life that they attempt to summarize? They cannot define or explain us no matter how hard one tries.

I’m thinking of how a mechanical scale is used to measure one’s physical mass. And, as an athlete I have one measure of my weight, while American society, preoccupied with the “thin culture,” has another.

My wife is pregnant. She has already gained weight and there will undoubtedly be a time when someone will comment “My, your boobs have gotten gigantic!” or “Wow, I’ll bet she’s having twins!” It is so strange in the “thin culture” that we do not look at the natural bodily cushioning that describes the gestation process as just that, “natural.” But while others may refrain politely from comment in public, aside from the pregnant mom there will inevitably be the snickers or the jibes like “She has really put on weight, hasn’t she?! I hope she can lose it after she gives birth….” And, she has to bear not only the back pain, the weird food cravings, morning sickness and inexplicable hormone fluctuations but her own sidelong glance in the mirror as her body puffs and bloats and grows with each day that is our baby, arriving.

I am obviously a man and a spectator to much that my wife will endure on this journey, aside from the hormone injections I put into her belly prior to witnessing the actual moment of conception facilitated by our embryologist. But I do know one thing. This time is precious. My pregnant, tall and “blossoming” wife is precious. And there will likely be no time when I can ever imagine her more beautiful than now, as her body grows with our child."


  1. now that is a love letter. He adores you and really understand the women's perspective. You are one lucky chick!!

    "My pregnant, tall and “blossoming” wife is precious. And there will likely be no time when I can ever imagine her more beautiful than now, as her body grows with our child."

    this is music, divine...what a loving husband!:)

  2. Wow, that blew me away! You have a good hubby :-)
    All my friends that are pregnant through IVF have been dealing with the excess bloat and weight during the early stages, but it will all even out as time goes on.

  3. Such sweet words from a loving husband and father-to-be! Thanks for sharing them with us. It's amazing to have a supportive spouse by your side during this time. I'm so happy for both of you!

    While my pregnancy with L wasn't an IVF pregnancy, I can tell you that I began feeling that growing waistline at 8 weeks, and by 10 weeks I could no longer wear my regular pants (with the exception of elastic-waist pj pants). I know it's not the easiest thing in the world to watch your body change as much as it will in the coming months, but in the end it is so very worth it. The stretch marks, extra pounds, new shape, etc. are all a reminder of something I thought might never happen for me, but by the grace of God it did.
    And it all pales in comparison to the love you'll feel for your child!

  4. So lovely that he writes on your blog... and such loving words :)) Thoughts and love are with you during your pregnancy and beyond xoxo

  5. A love letter, indeed.

    Treasure that man, my dear. And treasure yourself. You two are growing a beautiful family.

  6. *swoooooooon*

    Words every pregnant woman needs to hear!

  7. Your husband is so sweet and so right!!! Thank you for sharing this. XOXO