Sunday, January 30, 2011

How Romantic!

During this IF journey, I remember when we were contemplating IVF, but not yet ready. I remember feeling grief. Grief that our baby wouldn't be conceived during a spontaneous (or even planned for that matter), romantic evening of my husband and I making love. I felt like we were being jipped that it involved medical professionals, stirrups, petrie dishes, and lots of expensive drugs. And to be honest there were even times that I felt angry about it- why couldn't we be like all the other couples out there.

Granted, if I could write our story, I'd probably not opt to do it this way. But I have to say that so far, I am not experiencing the grief or anger I thought I would. DH and daily find our selves in awe of what science can do--- and grateful we have the option to have science help us. The daily injections have in their own way brought DH and I even closer, and I feel like he is fully apart of making this baby with me. (Corny, I know) And even though our brand of babymaking involves watching videos on Foll.istim injections, bloodwork, ultrasounds, and an anesthesiologist, I am actually in awe of the kind of miracle that we are working for. I don't feel like it is any less amazing then the surprise pregnancy I had hope for. In actuality, given we know the cards are stacked against us with endo, sperm issues, and RPL, I think I am even more in awe that in the end we could still actually have a baby.

So yes, it is most definitely a different kind of romance and intimacy, but so far I don't feel the grief that I thought would feel in taking this path.


Endo pain started getting slowing, but progressively better yesterday and this morning it is SO MUCH BETTER. I can still feel my grapefruit size endometrioma bumpin' around in there- but I feel back among the living.

Also did our three injections last night. Wasn't too bad at all. BUT- we got carried away cleaning the garage and lost track of time. We were supposed to do them nightly between 7-9pm, and didn't do it until 1040pm. AAAHH!! Talk about stressed out. I hope that isn't that big of deal. Ugg.


  1. I completely agree with you about the grief of coming to terms with having to do IVF... after losing Gabrielle, I thought that would be the only grief to deal with. You put it so well.... science is truly amazing and if that's what brings us our little miracles (when otherwise we may not have had that opportunity)... then that's great :) All the best with your IVF :)) xo

  2. It's truly amazing how it works. I totally agree and I think it's a good thing to remember. Science rock!

  3. is a roller coaster of emotions going through this process. I can relate to so much of what you are going through. It is so great you have your husband by your side:)