Monday, January 31, 2011


Normal. Perfect. Oh, this phone call made me happy. My nurse called earlier today than I was expecting and said my estrogen (estradiol?) was just where they wanted to see it (120 something I think she said). I just love phone calls like that- when it all goes so well.

Last night's injections were a bit rough. Lup.ron and Folli.stim went fine. but Menopur is just not cooperating. In the end, we spillt half the dose by accident, called the on call doctor, and fretted all night long. But a conversation with one of the nurses this morning and she put my mind totally at ease. And helped me to see were were being far too much of perfectionist when it came to bubbles in our syringe. So, I am feeling a lot more confident about tonight. Then tomorrow is a full busy day at work, and then Wednesday we have BW and our first U/S since we started stimming. hoping the good news keeps coming.

My younger sister is pregnant, (my MUCH younger sister). I've written about this before. This is her second baby. She is very young, no financial security and an on and off again boyfriend. I have made (or am making) peace with all of it and can occasionally even ask her about the pregnancy, etc. And I adore my niece, her first child. Today was my sister's u/s to find out the gender of her second. And I have been fretting this day. And it is for a silly and selfish reason.

After her first daughter was born, and by then I had had two miscarriages, one day some how we got talking about baby names. DH and I have a boy and a girl name picked out. Always have. We love the names and they have deep meaning for us. The boy's name is after my dad. I love my dad, I love who he is, and I love the name. Turns out, so does my sister. She told me that that was the name they had been considering if they had had a boy with their first baby. This conversation took place quite a while ago, and at the time, a second child wasn't in my sisters short-term plans so I didn't give it much thought. So fast forward to today and she is 20 weeks pregnant. And I have secretly been fretting about the gender of this baby since I learned she was pregnant. I just wasn't sure if my heart could handle it if not only was she having a second child before we even had one, but if she was having a little boy that she would name after our dad. Sigh. It's petty, and yet it means so much to me on so many different levels. And I know how much she loves me and I know it is possible she would have chosen a different name out of love and respect for me. But I was fretting all of it. I couldn't imagine ever asking her to not use that name. It just didn't seem fair. If she has the first grandson, then she should be free to name him whatever she likes.

I got a text message from her today while I was at work. ....

I am going to be an Aunt to .......another lil' Niece.


  1. Sooooo glad to hear that it's another niece. I don't think that is silly at all. I think it makes totally sense to be stressed about that and to want to have the first grandson so you can name him after your father. That is not petty in the least.

    When I got pregnant with my daughter after almost a year of trying and a loss, I was so excited. When I was 20 weeks pregnant my cousin called me to tell me she was pregnant. They hadn't even been trying, had just thrown out the BCP the month before.

    I was despondent. I felt like she was stealing my thunder. Now my baby would not be the first great grand child, or she would be, but they would all meet my cousin's daughter first, as she lives closer to my extended family. And then later I found out she planned to name her daughter Isabella, just as I planned to name mine Isabel. I was so upset! Luckily I found out that Isabel had become super popular and being a Katie when everyone else was I decided I didn't want that for my daughter. So we named her Isadora (really, I just wanted to call her Isa - prounced EEsa, like in Spanish) so I guess it was okay. But I was really, truly upset for many, many months.

    My situation is way less upsetting than yours, so I totally understand how you're feeling. I hope, hope, hope this IVF is your golden ticket! I've been following along and can't wait to see how it all turns out. You are in my thoughts and in my heart. Good luck!

    Esperanza @

  2. Oh this is tough. I'm glad it turned out fine. I'm really hoping for this IVF for you!

    I too have a sister but older that got pregnant before me. Didn't see that coming at the time. Now my little nephew is already 16month old. It reminds me about the time it has taken us.. I'm just waiting for her to announce a second pregnancy. Even when it's close family that I love it's hard. Just like you explain.

  3. Whew! Every now and then we get a little break, huh? :) Glad to hear your chosen name will be safe a while longer... and that this cycle is moving right along!

  4. Petty? I don't think so. It's hard to watch a little sister go through a second pregnancy in less than ideal circumstances when you want one so badly yourself. To lose the name you love because of it, well that would suck. I'm glad the gods threw you a bone this time :)